journal 29

I have been tasked with defining my transcendental self. I have little to no idea as to how to go about doing that but I shall try to do so as that is what I need to do. I will do this off the basis of what is currently on the board, that being my soul, self, and the real me. As for the soul portion which is defined as my spiritual self it is pretty clear to me as what my spiritual self truly is, which is non existent, as I find all that spiritual nonsense to be nothing but nonsense. On to the self portion of the thing on the board which is currently being defined as my personality or my self perception. That is a very difficult question to answer not because I simply don't know what to say, but because my mind will not allow me to delve into my own personality and study it in a way that will allow me to form words that would help me understand it, as if I were to look at my self and think I do this, my mind will bring forth a plethora of reasons as to why that is false, so the best single word I can possibly use to define myself, as it is the only word I can think of which is why I'm sticking to one word, would have to be inconsistent, as that is all my mind will allow me to conclude about myself. As for the real me portion that is defined as other peoples perception of me as I am taking it. That is truly one thing I can not do as it is entirely revolving around the concept of what others think of me and not what I think of me, which similar to the previous option my mind will not allow me to tread upon in itself and all its self created glory and stuff.